angry gif, birthday, Brutus Mc Bruts, cat, clubbing, Coco Mademoiselle, crap snow clearing techniques, dark lip, distractions, endless cups of tea, failure, gain focus, ginseng oolong, gravy recipe, hotti biscotti, i like snow but hate wet feet, i love food, ice storm, imposter syndrome, mad cash cat, manicure, maybe i love food too much, moving, now i'm 24, ontario ice storm, oprah craziness, peaches, Pylones, revlon black cherry, shibe cross stitch, shibe ornament, shit, snoowww, snow is ok i guess, sushi, taxi drama, taxi drivers suck in bad weather, Thor, toronto ice storm, ugh moving, vladivostok casual, what am i doing
Basically, distractions in a nutshell. They’re butter. Delicious, delicious butter. Like toast with loads of butter. So good.
I guess I’m faced with a bit of a dilemma. I’ve been able to focus using the Pomodoro system (25 minutes work, 5 minutes break) for the past few days. I think it’s a meta-issue though. I have a lot to do, so it’s hard to focus on a single task. Also, as I’ve been reading for my thesis, I came across this:
“Suddenly, the end of school is in sight, and the certainty of our well established routine is replaced by the uncertainty of what we are going to do next. There are few who do not feel at least a twinge of apprehension.” from Gould and White, 1986, Mental Maps
I suppose that’s really the meta-issue for me. I know what I would like to come next, but I’m worried that I won’t reach it. I’ve got so many goals and ideas that it’s difficult to reconcile them all. I sometimes wish I had more time. I spent all yesterday reading. I just sometimes don’t have the desire to do anything. That’s why I haven’t updated for so long. I get bogged down in negative thinking, and feel like I’m a failure. Feeling depressed can be feeling like a failure before I’ve even started anything.
So I’m now 24. It’s ok. I guess. I don’t know. Mum came and picked me up on my birthday and we drove back home. It was pretty swell. We took some of my stuff to make moving slightly easier later. Moving in stages is way easier. We moved the rest of my stuff maybe a week and a half or two weeks ago, and now all that’s left is to clean up.
We stopped at services and got Starbucks because yeah free Starbucks on my birthday but wait no it’s not because it’s not a corporate location. Poop. But since it was my birthday I got a London fog anyways.
I chilled out at home with mum and the cats, because dad was lecturing. Then I got to open my gifts, which I didn’t really take any photos of. Mum and dad gave me some sweet skincare stuff, notebooks, pouches, fox-themed tights, and Coco Mademoiselle perfume in a cute travel aspirator. It’s white and gold. It’s p cool. I did actually take photos, since I did take it back to my apartment, rather than leaving it at my parents’ since I’m moving there anyway fairly soon (spoiler alert: I have). Also in the picture: a sweet Pylones pouch that they got me in New York.
Also Brutus played with the paper. It was adorable but I took only one pic because I suck.
For the rest of my birthday, we went and saw Thor: Whatever the Heck the Subtitle Is This Time. I thought it was pretty good. It wasn’t until the day after that I had birthday food, which was sushi, my eternal and gluttonous love. Sushi for me is about the textural experience, rather than the tastes alone. That’s why I like things like the “dragon” style rolls with the avocado on top.
It was also mum’s birthday the week after which was nice. I like that mum and I have birthdays close together. It also snowed a lot. The worst thing about snow is probably the day after when no one does a really good job of clearing their sidewalks. I mean I get it, but still. At least put some bloody salt down.
It’s so windy and cold sometimes, and right now I’ve misplaced my tuque which is tragic and sad but I don’t expect any sympathy. Also I want/need cooler sunglasses. One day. One day.
Since this post has turned into “I’m so overwhelmed that I’m going to talk about the weather” post, I should mention that there was a huge ice storm here this weekend, leaving my best friend without power until Christmas Eve (from Saturday night), and ice everywhere. Good times. There were a load of branches down at my parents’ so I helped dad move them around into stacks, but we can’t really do much until there’s a bit more of a thaw.
I went to a really nice Christmas potluck on Saturday, and I did mashed potatoes and the gravy. I love making gravy. It’s kind of a thing for me. A lot of people think it’s difficult but it really isn’t. You just need the juices from the meat you’ve just cooked, some kind of wine/vermouth/port/etc that’s preferably cheap or going sour/vinegarey, salt, pepper, and flour. The first thing to add is the alcohol, followed by salt and pepper to taste, and then thicken it with flour. However, you should add the flour to some water first and make a sort of paste with it before whisking it in to the gravy. Oh damn, it’s a recipe. I didn’t even notice that I did that.
After the potluck, I took a taxi over to meet Kate (and her new boyfriend!). We hung out for a bit at our friend’s and had some cocktails before we went to Guvernment, where one of our friends had an in, so we bypassed the line and got to leave our coats in an office (coat check was also full!). We had a really great time dancing almost all night… well from 12am to about 3:30/4:00am. Then Kate, Kate’s boyfriend, and I left to go home, since Kate had to work anyways. It was raining really hard and every surface was a weird icy slush. We couldn’t get a taxi to save our lives, so we headed north, and no one would take us to Kate’s (basically Kate lives north of Bloor, which is I guess a “no go” zone for a cabbie on a Saturday which is bullshit and illegal, to use strong language). We finally had one driver come who said $30, no meter, and I protested briefly before my cold, wet feet won over and we piled in, annoyedly. I took a video for evidence though, and will report him.
As we approached Kate’s house, we realised the power was out on her part of the street. I luckily had a small torch on my keys, and lit the way. The apartment was still fairly warm, so slept. Her power didn’t come back on until Tuesday evening. I felt really bad for her, but luckily her boyfriend was lovely and let her stay at his place so she didn’t freeze to death while sleeping.
I came back to my parents’ in the afternoon, since their street hadn’t been cleared in the morning. I took the opportunity to buy some tea (Ginseng Oolong, which is severely underrated, and also can be resteeped about a thousand times) and get a manicure, because my nails have been awful, and probably will still be awful until I grow them out a tiny bit. It’s difficult to reconcile having nice nails with jiu jitsu…
In any case I made it onto the train with minutes to spare, so it was fine. No dramatic rush… well I did, and then I realised the train wasn’t even at the platform yet. So I waited. Snacklessly. I was a bit hungry, but I didn’t have anything with me. I forgot that I had half of a cookie-pie from this place I went with mum, Hotti Biscotti. They have tasty food. And a funny sign. I don’t know. I like them, even if their name is a bit much.
One last thing I wanted to post about: my new dark lip thing I have sort of going on because I kind of like how it looks and I want to be cool maybe possibly ok.
Anyways I’ve just realised it’s Christmas Day and I should go to sleep. >_>